This happened. Brett snuck a bottle of mouthwash into the bathroom with a note on it, and touched off a flurry of blame and suspicion that took over the office for a good five minutes before we had to get back to work. It pretty much unfolded like this, too: everyone blamed everyone else, and when Brett finally owned up to it, they all turned on him and said they knew it was him right away. We’re not sure if we’re due for another game of Secret Hitler, or if things would go very badly.

We asked him what was really up with the mouth wash. He said his mother bought the wrong kind and just gave it to him. Since he doesn’t use it, he decided to have fun. This. This is what we have to deal with.